SO, YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

REGARDING HENRY
By Henrylito D. Tacio

SO, YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

SUPPOSE someone asked you the question a friend posed
to me the other day. “Tell me something,” he asked.
“Are you happy?”

I was reminded of a story shared by an overseas
contract worker from Hong Kong. A certain Filipino
priest named Father Lim delivered his Sunday service
in Tagalog at St Joseph’s Church on Garden Road. At
one time, before a packed audience, he squeezed
through his flock with a microphone.

“Are you happy?” he asked the congregation. A hand
snatched the mike from the priest. “Yes, because I
love God,” the man said. Amid wild applause, the mike
found its way to another person. “I’m so happy because
I got my HK$3,670 this month,” he said. “But my
employer was expecting a million and didn’t get it.
Now he’s miserable.” Everyone hooted with laughter.

Now, are you happy? Well, really, I never thought
about it. I know I am happy. On second thought, what
is happiness? What makes a person happy?

Philosopher Aristotle reminds, “Happiness is the
meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end
of human existence.” Bertrand Russell adds, “The good
life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean
that if you are good you will be happy; I mean that if
you are happy you will be good.”

In terms of happiness, it’s more of your own choice.
An ancient proverb suggests: “Dance as if no one were
watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live
each day as if there were no tomorrow.” To Brooke
Russell Kuser Marshall Astor, happiness is very
simple: “If you love to read, if you love nature and
if you have a dog, you’ve got it made.”

To some, happiness is a state of mind. Dale Carnegie
states, “Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who
you are or what you have; it depends solely on what
you think.” Mahatma Gandhi agrees, “Happiness is when
what you think, what you say, and what you do are in
harmony.”

To others, happiness is more about us. John B.
Sheerin contends, “Happiness is not in our
circumstances, but in ourselves. It is not something
we see, like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a
fire. Happiness is something we are.” William L
Shirer is even more specific, “Most true happiness
comes from one’s inner life, from the disposition of
the mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is
difficult to achieve, especially in these trying
times. It takes reflection and contemplation and
self-discipline.”

Oftentimes, happiness is just before us. But we don’t
pay attention to it. As Helen Keller puts it: “When
one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often
we look so long at the closed door that we do not see
the one which has opened for us.”

A couple of years ago, a study conducted by the
British think tank New Economics Foundation whose
Happy Planet Index covered 178 countries ranked the
Philippines as the 17th happiest country on Earth.
(Several years before the said study, a Hong Kong ad
agency found the Philippines to be the happiest place
among a group that included Thailand, Malaysia,
Singapore, Hong Kong and China.)

A day after the news came out, a national daily came
out with this editorial: “The self-perception that the
Philippines is one of the happiest countries on Earth
is paradoxical, because it is one of the poorest and
most deprived nations. Thirty percent of the people
live below the poverty threshold; many families eat
only two meals a day. Millions have no access to
medical and health services and many people die
without even seeing or enjoying the services of a
doctor.”

But Filipinos themselves were not surprised with the
survey. Here’s an explanation from another editorial
of a national daily: “Filipinos are not difficult to
please. A bowl of instant noodles sustains most poor
families. Sidewalk food is a 24-hour business. Movies
and TV help us pass the time with ease. Prayers and
humor make Pinoys resilient. Disasters, tragedies and
epidemics are an occasion for jokes. The extended
family provides a safety net for the jobless. If the
fates are unkind, it is God’s will.”

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do, something to love, and something to
hope for,” said Joseph Addison. Dr. David Myers, an
American psychologist who has conducted some studies
about happiness, offers nine basic steps to happiness:

1. Savor the moment. “Live in the present,” he
advises. A proverb states, “Yesterday is but a dream,
tomorrow but a vision. But well lived today makes
every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every
tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to
this day.”

2. Take control of your time. Myers explains, “Happy
people set big goals, then break them into daily bits.
Writing a 300-page book is a formidable task;
spinning out two pages daily is easy enough. Repeat
this process 150 times and you have a book. This
principle can be applied to any task.”

3. Accentuate the positive. “Each of us makes his own
weather, determines the color of the skies in
the emotional universe which he inhabits,” Fulton J.
Sheen reminds. To which William Lyon Phelps seconded,
“The happiest person is the person who thinks the most
interesting thoughts.”

4. Give priority to close relationships. A poll
conducted in the United States has shown that people
who could name five close friends were 60 percent more
likely to be “very happy” than those who couldn’t name
any. This is particularly true, too, in the
Philippines where happiness isn’t material but social.
Alan C. Robles, writing in ‘Time Asia’ in February
2005, explained, “We’re happiest in a group: family,
friends, immediate community, even strangers.” Thomas
Fuller was, indeed, right when he said, “No man can be
happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till
he is unhappy.”

5. Act happy. Experiments show that people who put
on a happy face really do feel better. As one popular
song advices, “Don’t worry; be happy.”

6. Don’t vegetate. In others words, “don’t engage in
self-absorbed idleness or park yourself in front of
the television.” Or a Charlotte Perkins Gilman
explains, “To attain happiness in another world we
need only to believe something; to secure it in this
world, we must do something.”

7. Get moving. “Action may not always bring
happiness,” said Benjamin Disraeli, “but there is no
happiness without action.”

8. Get rest. “Happy people exude vigor, but they also
reserve time for sleep and solitude,” Dr. Myers said.
Marcus Tullius Cicero also once said, “A happy life
consists in tranquility of mind.”

9. Take care of the soul. Research on faith and
well-being shows that people who are actively
religious are happier than those who aren’t. An
unknown author wrote, “Happiness no more depends on
station, rank, or any local or adventitious
circumstances in individuals than a man’s life is
connected with the color of his garment. The mind is
the seat of happiness, and to make it so in reality,
nothing is necessary but the balm of gospel peace and
the saving knowledge of the Son of God.”

But more importantly, share your happiness to others.
Buddha reminds, “Thousands of candles can be lighted
from a single candle, and the life of the candle will
not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being
shared.”

George Lord Byron admits, “To have joy one must share
it.” Filipino columnist Orlando P. Carvajal explains
it this way: “We should not expect to get happiness
from outside us such as other people, events or
possessions. We should gain happiness by giving
happiness to others because then we will be happy
ourselves. Getting is not within our control. What we
want to get we cannot always get or others will not
allow us to get. On the contrary, giving is within our
control. We can simply decide to give and we will get
our happiness. Decide to give and find out how simple
the search for happiness becomes.” --- ###